Marriage and Family
Sunday, April 7, 2013
This week in class we discussed a lot about blended families and how all of that works. Although I am not in a blended family, I know many who are in blended families. And although it is not the ideal situation in most cases, it can be a better situation for many children. I have a friend who’s biological father beat her mother and her older sister. So the mother left, and not too long after married another man who then became her stepfather and soon adopted her and her older sister. She now doesn’t’ know what she would have done without her father. He is her father and the only person that she could imagine being sealed to in the temple.
I also have a cousin who’s father (who is my uncle) gave up his rights to her at a young age. She is now adopted by and sealed to her father John and has been raised by him her whole life. She went back to get to know her biological father a few years ago but has not since then because of drama being started up in the family by him. But she is so grateful that she is sealed to the man she is sealed to and loves him, because essentially he is her father.
2 years after divorce most couples regret that they got a divorce. 2 years after that, 70% said they could have worked out their problems.
Blended families- They take usually 2 years to reach any sense of normalcy.
Saturday, March 30, 2013
The importance and purposes of parenting.
Which parent is a child better without?? The mom or the dad?
I originally had a huge list of insights from class, but for some reason it deleted those insights that I had put on this page.
From what I remember about them, we discussed parenting and different ways to parent
Polite request
Firm request
I message- "I feel this way when this happens"
Logical consequence
Children are interesting creatures, and if they are treated with respect, they will also give back respect. The best way to teach them that is through showing them what they need to be doing. Children copy what their parents do. So why would any parent want to teach them things that really don't matter or silly habits that they have. It is important to do you best to be the best you when you are around your children, because they pick up on those silly things that you wouldn't think they do.
Which parent is a child better without?? The mom or the dad?
I originally had a huge list of insights from class, but for some reason it deleted those insights that I had put on this page.
From what I remember about them, we discussed parenting and different ways to parent
Polite request
Firm request
I message- "I feel this way when this happens"
Logical consequence
Children are interesting creatures, and if they are treated with respect, they will also give back respect. The best way to teach them that is through showing them what they need to be doing. Children copy what their parents do. So why would any parent want to teach them things that really don't matter or silly habits that they have. It is important to do you best to be the best you when you are around your children, because they pick up on those silly things that you wouldn't think they do.
Friday, March 22, 2013
No success can compensate for failure in the home.
I never realized the importance of mothers being in the home until we discussed the negative effects of a mother working outside the home. My mother was always in the home and I wouldn't trade that for the world, because there is just something about having my mother home, but I didn't realize that there really are many negative sides to it. Of course some mothers have to work in order for their children to really be able to have a good life, but if at all possible mothers should not work outside of the home. In no way does a woman trade her brain for a mop when she decides to stay home and raise her children. Children are the next generation, why not do our best to make sure that they are the best they can be? We always say that we want better for our kids than we got, and I honestly believe having a mother in the home if possible is the best way.
Children learn so much in the home. Yes of course they learn a lot in school, but more of what is learned is retained when they are in a more comfortable and familiar place as they learn. Being a mother can be one of the most rewarding jobs. The importance of learning in the home is something that I didn't realize as much until learning it in this class. It's no wonder the church stresses teaching in the home so much.
I never realized the importance of mothers being in the home until we discussed the negative effects of a mother working outside the home. My mother was always in the home and I wouldn't trade that for the world, because there is just something about having my mother home, but I didn't realize that there really are many negative sides to it. Of course some mothers have to work in order for their children to really be able to have a good life, but if at all possible mothers should not work outside of the home. In no way does a woman trade her brain for a mop when she decides to stay home and raise her children. Children are the next generation, why not do our best to make sure that they are the best they can be? We always say that we want better for our kids than we got, and I honestly believe having a mother in the home if possible is the best way.
Children learn so much in the home. Yes of course they learn a lot in school, but more of what is learned is retained when they are in a more comfortable and familiar place as they learn. Being a mother can be one of the most rewarding jobs. The importance of learning in the home is something that I didn't realize as much until learning it in this class. It's no wonder the church stresses teaching in the home so much.
Saturday, March 16, 2013
This week was a very interesting week for me. Communication in a marriage is absolutely key to having success especially with the family, so learning about different problems in communication was something that I find to be super helpful especially for the future. It is amazing how something as simple as a tone or body language can communicate so much to someone. I like to think that I am pretty good at reading a person's body language, but I'm sure that I have a hard time really hiding how I feel especially with my body language. But in a marriage, body language and tone can do a lot. We also discussed the counsel method and how that can create some real unity in a family. This class has really changed my own personal paradigm.
Saturday, March 9, 2013
For me it was very interesting to learn about different stressors to the family. My family has had to go through hard times as much as any others, but it was very interesting to see the different ways that people react to different circumstances. I also was very interested in what we learned about the way that people use drugs and alcohol to handle that stress, but that doesn't mean that it really does anything productive. Although my family has struggled through the years, I feel like we have handled stress pretty well considering the kinds of things that we went through. My mom has been sick for several years, and my dad is going back to school and working full time, so the stress on the children to really help out around the house was great, but it taught us things we never would have learned otherwise and I am grateful for all that we learned through those crisises.
Saturday, February 23, 2013
This week was a very interesting one for me when it came to our discussions in class. I never really expected to talk about dating in a Family relations class to be honest. I also didn't really realize all the adjustments that newly married couples have to make. Its interesting to see the correlation between cohabitation and being able to really commit to each other when you are married. Cohabitation is such a common thing in our world today, so I never really thought about the negative consequences that it can have on a marriage. I never expected to see that having kids actually decreases the overall marital satisfaction either. I mean, when I was younger, my parents always seemed so happy. Of course they had their ups and downs, but it is interesting to hear now the kinds of struggles that they really did have as a result of having 5 children. Marriage is so important in Gods plan, as are children so the fact that marriages are less satisfying when children come into the picture blew me away. But it is interesting to see all the different factors and all the different things that can make a marriage hard. I've always heard it was hard, and I always expected it to be hard, but I never really understood until this class. There are many more insights that I never considered before taking this class. Being a newlywed should be one of the greatest experiences of your life, but at the same time, it is one of the most challenging things as well. But nothing worth while is ever easily attained right?
Saturday, February 16, 2013
This week we learned about how to prepare for marriage. Between this class and my Marriage class, I have learned lots of useful insights. Most of what I found to be very interesting is all the information on cohabitation. I had no Idea before this class all the negatives that go along with it. I knew that it wasn't good for a relationship but I never knew how detrimental it was for a relationship. We also talked about false love and how things like love at first sight and soul mates really don't exist. I find it interesting how relationships really work and how attraction really works. Sometimes I wish that the rest of the world knew the kind of information that I now know and understand the impact that they could have on families if they simply did it the correct way. Children hold a special place in my heart, so putting them through the kind of things that they are being put through just makes me wish that I could help many realize what kind of impact they can make on the world. As a child development major, in my career I would like to be able to change other's mindset as much as possible.
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